Right now (“post cleanse”) I feel f-n fantastic.
So good, that I happily made a grilled veggie salad for dinner. I’m sticking to this clean eating thing.
The cleanse delivered exactly what I was needing.
A new leash. A fresh start. Libertarian from cravings. Discipline with my nourishment.
But getting here was no walk in the park.
It felt like more like an uphill hike through a field that once housed land mines. I never knew when an eruption of irritation or an explosion of cravings would emerge.
A little nausea, a lot of exhaustion, and moments of bloating, headaches and/or weakness had me considering if I just wanted to step on a land mine and end this whole cleansing thing.
I kept wondering how in the world all these nutrient dense foods I was eating could make me feel so shitty?!?!
But deep in meditation, I found my answers. I could feel my inners literally off gassing (🤢) all the junk I had been consuming for the past six months.
Truth be told, I’ve been unleashed when it comes to food. It started back in October with dipping into some Halloween candy and I never reeled in back in.
And I began to use food (again) as a way to soothe myself from feeling emotions I didn’t wanna feel.
((I will say, chocolates do deliver some sweet love... but there is nothing sweet about feeling like a slave to the sugar.))
I digress ...
While I tensely navigated the cleansing journey, I undoubtedly detonated a bomb or two with shaking hands and unsteady feet. But all the time I did keep my focus on the field of flowers ahead.
((Really, when I think about it, the whole experience was like holding one of those crazy kundalini poses.))
And on day five, I arrived!
For me, that was the day everything changed. The cold sweats transformed to a radiant glow. I literally feel re-birthed. And as we know, the birthing process is never easy. But always worth it.